QUESTION: Okay, so Me and this guy we were great friends and then we crossed that line. Well we saw each other for about 10 months but we had an understanding and kept things quiet. I guess we were in a relationship with no defined title. After about 11 months he tells me he can't do this anymore...he doesn't want to hurt me but he doesn't think he could ever feel the way I feel about him and blah blah blah...so I was heartbroken. It's been a month...and he sends me this text " I hope you've been well.." . I didn't know how to respond or if I should what does this mean? I told him we couldn't be friends Bc I likes him too much and I needed time and space. Is he trying to be friends with me or is this just a bs way of making himself feel better a month later?
GARLAND: Just from what you've given me I think it could easily be either one. They are both reasonable - I'm sure he had a certain degree of feelings for you when you were friends and then friends with bennies. So, he could be trying to see if there is still a chance for friendship. On the flip side, he could be dealing with some guilt. Looking yourself in the mirror is very hard to do when you know the person staring back at you is not an honorable guy. he could be trying to make himself feel better.
There is still a third option though. He may not want to be friends again, and he may not feel guilty at all. In his mind, breaking things off and being honest about his feelings could have been very honorable and not worth any shame. He very well could have just wanted to say "Hello. I hope you've been well." That could be the long and short of it. It could be just what it is.
My advice though is this. You control your destiny at this point. You can determine how you respond or even if you respond. But, whatever you do, don't make yourself vulnerable if you know you might catch feelings again, and certainly don't try to force him to talk about his feelings.
Let me repeat that...
DON'T TRY TO FORCE [OR GET] HIM TO TALK ABOUT HIS FEELINGS. He's a Guy and there is a low probability of success if you try to go down that road.
Just keep in mind that you are in charge of how much you give in the way of response to him, and I hope this sheds a tiny bit of light when you wonder - What Are Men Thinking.