What Happens in Vegas... (*)

I have been married to the same man for close to ten years. He is a good husband and father, and I have had no reason not to trust him. However, recently I've had reason to question that view. He accepted a new job about 8 months ago that required him to travel to Las Vegas with some co-workers. He had never been to Vegas before. I would have wanted to go, but I needed to stay home with the children.

While he was out there, all I heard about was how he hardly had time to see shows or gamble, because he was working so hard. I didn't doubt that. Until he returned and I received our Visa bill a month later. Along with the usual charges was a $68 charge from a suspiciously-named place in Las Vegas. When I called the phone number of the place, I found out that it was a strip club that offers lapdances!

I had always thought that my husband was a good Christian man. But aside from that, not only has he lied to me about his busy work schedule, he's charged his smut on our joint Visa. I don't feel as though $68 should break up our marriage, but it is getting hard to contain myself about this. Before the urge to confront him about this becomes overwhelming, let me know: Is it a good idea to talk to him about this? Is this normal behavior for men?

GARLAND: Yes, it's a good idea to talk to him. And, Is WHAT normal behavior for men?

I think you should just talk to him about this because I'm willing to bet that nothing has taken place that you should be worried about. So far, I don't think he's lied to you or done anything he needs to hide. $68 in LAS VEGAS might be a few rounds of drinks, or a dinner tab for a small group of business associates. All offical business in Vegas does not take place in offices or conference centers. On top of that - he charged it to the family Visa. Unless he's pretty stupid, nobody would put lapdances on the household credit card. Now, large cash withdrawls might be a different issue!!! Besides - if your husband got only $68 worth of lapdances in Las Vegas, YOU have nothing to worry about. $68 would only cover two drinks and maybe 1 song if he was lucky... which he wasn't.

As far as, "Is this normal behavior for men?" I'm going to make an assuption as to what you mean. "Do all men go to strip clubs when in Vegas without their wives and then not tell them?" - No. But, I'm sure that many do. Vegas strip clubs have a certain allure to many men: some go there to do business; some go to relax and have a few drinks; some go to see a wide variety of women that they would otherwise never see; and some go for more. The fact that he didn't tell you he went to The Crazy Horse or someplace like it, could have been an oversight or he could have just did what he had to do for the sake of business. But, him putting it on the family Visa tells me that he really wasn't up to any major mischief. If he was, you should be more upset that he's a dim-wit.

Chuck: I am tempted to tell you to wait until he goes to sleep tonight, pick up your pillow, and smother him to death. Because if he was up to anything bad, he is surely too stupid to live. But DON'T DO THAT. I'M KIDDING.

I generally agree with Garland. Instead of continuing to let this bother you, ask your husband about the charge. But try not to accuse him of anything. Although the chance exists that he made the charge thinking that he could beat you to the mail and get the Visa bill first, the odds are just as great there could be an innocent explanation. All business is not conducted in hotel conference rooms. It's also conducted on the golf course, in the gym, and sometimes, in the strip clubs in Vegas. That $68 could have bought a round of drinks for your husband and some clients.

I'm not gonna unequivocally say $68 couldn't buy a lapdance. Garland's experience with Vegas strip clubs might be greater than mine.

As for normal behavior of men, well, most men like to look at women. And men (and women) will tend to take advantage of the anonymous, taboo-free reputation of Las Vegas to do things they may not ordinarily do. At the very least, look on the bright side. Some other guy's wife has a Visa bill with a $10,000 charge from the Bunny Ranch on it.


Elizabeth said...

Gee I might be weird. But I see nothing wrong in a man occasionally visiting a strip club with friends/co-workers. As long as looking is all that he does...big deal. Some say it's a slippery slope to hell (cheating) ..I dunno about that. I like - no, I will correct that - LOVE looking at attractive men. Doesn't mean I am going to cheat on my hubby. If a girlfriend held her bridal shower and had a male dancer there who was great looking and had a buff body - I will attend. LOL! In summary - it is not that big a deal.

Kellie LaPlegua said...

Strip clubs aren't always that bad. As long as the guy isn't trying to get a blow-job or whatever, it really can be harmless.
68$ was probably a round of drinks + tip. Dances are usually around 20-40$ each. Drinks are usually super expensive 12-20$ each. VIP rooms are like 500$ per half-hour.
If only 68$ was spent, thats around 4 drinks. 4 drinks do NOT last long.
However dances are paid for in cash, so a visit to an atm machine is whats needed for those.

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