Ok, Firstly I want to say that I love you guys site, you give excellent advice.
QUESTION: So alright I met this guy a few months back online, and we talked pretty briefly for a month or so, then we exchanged numbers and made plans to meet up. Around the end of January he came and picked me up, we went out to eat, he was a perfect gentleman and before I stepped out of the car he gave me a goodnight kiss. So after that we talked off and on for a while. A weekend ago I told him that I would be in his area and asked if he wanted to meet up and he told me to call him once I got to where I was going. Well I called him twice and left a message and he hasnt responded to me since......Its been a week. I have consulted others and they have told me to just let it go and not even try and contact him. So my question is, Is he just not that into me? Is he not interested and doesnt want to go through the headache of actually telling me? What do you guys think??
Confused in Chicago
GARLAND: Thanks for your question!
Yes, honestly, I think he's not that into you. And I don't think its an issue of him not wanting the headache of not telling you. In a man's world, he DID tell you. He didn't call you back.
Sure, that was some lame passive agressive mess - him not calling you back. The whole, "Call me when you get where you're going," was a subtle ruse. Maybe he thought he'd hurt your feelings by saying "It's ME not YOU."
I think you should find a little solace in the fact that he treated you like a gentleman on your date and seemed very respectful in his actions. I'm always glad to hear about guys that are, at a minimum, respectful enough to not try and get any one sided financial or sexual benefit when they know a woman may have feelings for them.
Always keep in mind that you are better off WITHOUT a man that doesn't want to be with you. And, also keep in mind that not being with you is most likely HIS LOSS!
CHUCK: Garland's completely right here. For whatever reason, this guy was not into you. Does it even matter why? But rather than string out a bunch of excuses for you, he figured he just wouldn't bother. "She'll get the message," he probably told himself. But I guess you didn't.
Anyway, don't dwell on it, Confused. Frankly, you got off light. Many is the number of women who end up attached to a man who recognizes that she is more into him than he is into her, and will try to exploit that discrepancy. So he'll let the relationship wither away, but only AFTER he has gotten the woman to co-sign for a car, bail him out of jail, or "loan" him thousands of dollars. Don't believe me? On your next day off, watch Judge Mathis, Judge Judy, and Judge Alex. If it wasn't for relationships like these, court shows might go out of business.
So move on, Confused. I can almost guarantee you that this guy isn't expending as much time thinking of you. And if it's closure you're looking for, I've said it before here: Closure is overrated. Keep your mind and eyes open for that guy who's going to be into you. He's out there.