Totally Crushed Out

QUESTION: Thank you so much for making this blog, I'm sure all the women who have ran across it have definately appreciated it. I hope that my question has not been asked before, but I will take my chances in asking it.

As a female, I believe that I have a well rounded knowledge of how the average woman acts when she is interested or "has a crush" on a guy, if you prefer. Girls with obsessive personalities enjoy "obsessing over" and think about the guy constantly, fantasizing, reminiscing, etc .... Girls who are more shy cherish every moment they see him as he passes in the hall despite having seldom exchanged words.

But I ask; How do guys act? This does not mean "how do you tell a guy likes you?" I'm merely asking the rituals, the habits of a man with a crush? Does he reminisce about the "hi" he exchanged with her in the hallway, does the an obsessive type of male "obsess" as much as the average female? I am very interested in knowing.Many thanks for your time. - Lady Curious.

GARLAND: What an interesting question. Thanks for asking.

I guess I can mainly speak from my own personality and from general conversations I've had with my buddies. For me, I tend to be a little more obsessive about things - when I met a woman that caught my eye, I tended to replay the moment we met in my head. Did I speak clearly to her, did I smile, did my eyes tell her that she struck me, was my zipper down? I also made it a point to check my watch and make note of where we were in case she happened to pass by that same spot the next day or at a time where I could better prepared... you know, with that perfect necktie or the perfect shirt or with just the Right way to approach her. So, to me - Yeah, when I encountered a new woman I thought about her and the meeting a lot.

As far as my friends go - I've had some of my buddies talk a lot about the details of encountering certain women, sometimes to the point of driving me a little crazy about the whole thing. And still, I know some guys that dismiss meeting a woman as just something that is going to happen today, tomorrow and the next day.

So, I have to say that I don't think that gender is a big deal in how people think about their encounters, I think personality is the BIG factor. Good question though.

CHUCK: Yeah, good question. Something we don't get asked every day. But I find guys don't really have too much honest, BS-free discussion about how we're prone to react when we are first attracted to someone. Because frankly, we are never at our most composed, or coolest at that time.

Take me, for example. I try to create a calm, easygoing image. I have what I think is a good sense of humor. But when I was single and in the presence of a woman I had a crush on, my composure was not its best. And worse, trying to appear effortless and cool would sometimes lead me to some behavior out of some bad comedy. Stuff like diving into a pool with my glasses on, and having to get them fished out. Hey, I was a teenager at the time!

So what other feelings did I have? I remember nervousness, finding excuses to see that person at different times of the day, poring over my memories to think of anything that might prove that she had the slightest similar feelings about me. And oh, the embarassment.

If I'm to be honest, quite a few of those crushes that I had went unrequited. That's probably true for a lot of guys. At least those that don't slide over into Stalkerville. Bu thinking about it, it's that feeling you get, that excitement, that fascination, that basically makes those experiences worthwhile. Anyway, I hope that we've answered your question satisfactorily.

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