You're all by yourself, but you're not alone

QUESTION: I'll get right to the point. I have been in a commited relationship with a man who has been married twice and according to all his banterings and extreme number of other relationships and encounters.

The latest bomb dropped was the statement that he was sued for patenity about 19 years ago. DNA showed he was most likely not the father but lost in court. (This was the result of a three night roll in the hay) His second wife moved in on thier second date and since she would not leave they got married. The marriage was going south so they had two kids, go figure? He says if he had it to do over the first date would never have happened.

Now I really do not consider myself as the jealous type. I am VERY easy going. But everything we do including travel he always brings up someone else with whom he has been there before or fished with or camped with or dined with. I am NEVER alone with him! He constantly drags them along. I can't imagine how many are and have been in my bed! One story after another.

We have been together for 9 years and living together(in his house not mine) for the last 5. I love him. But, does he have any idea what he is doing to me? Is it malicious? Am I being too sensitive?

I have told him that I do not walk around talking about every person I have ever F**@%ed. Nor do I ever brag about experiences with my ex or past boyfriends. I also told him it makes me feel "disposable".

I am feeling totally disrespected. Is it just that he does not think? It just seems to be a pattern of not thinking anything through including what he says.

I need insight on how to deal with him and my feelings.



GARLAND: Thanks for your question. Hmmm, living together for five years - have you been tired of his crap for the whole time, or have you just grown weary of his foolishness. That's what you have here, a man with a lot of foolishness and drama.

I think most guys that have gone through two wives have some serious issues with themselves. Let me tell you why - I know a lot of guys, some married, some divorced, some never married at all, but the general consensus among all of us is that once is enough for marriage. For guys that have gone down the aisle twice and both times come up with zeroes, they either have poor taste in women or they are poor men in a relationship. I think your guy is poor in relationships.

If he is so dim-witted as to think that he can bring up all of his ex lovers and ex girlfriends and ex booty calls and basically REMIND you that nothing you do is special to just the two of you - then your man is screwed up. I'm just going to put it out there to you. Your guy has some real issues and guess what - he's not going to get any better!!! If he's been married twice and is still so immature and ignorant that he will not look into the mirror to see what is wrong with him - then he is a fool.

You are dating an inconsiderate and thoughtless fool. Prepare for continued heartbreak and disappointment, because you have a lot more headed your way.

Chuck, can you find a silver lining here? I can't. This guy is a bum.

CHUCK: (Answer will follow)


Anonymous said...

The silver lining is she is not married to this mess of a male and most importantly did not move him in to her home which I hope she still has.

You control what you do and what he has access to sounds like you need a bit of alone time minus him and his ghosts of craziness past. Move into your own space and when he asks explain you want time w/ him alone also minus the entourage so you are giving him space.

Leave this half wit with his drama filled cast blasting in from the past - if it feels like you are being disrespected that mostly means you are being disrespected by the other person and yourself. Respect your feelings and assert yourself to get what you need and deserve.


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