Coffee, Tea and You're Dead to Me

A VERBAL QUESTION WAS POSED: "Please explain this to me! I've been passing this guy in the hallway at my job for the last few weeks and then last Friday he asks me to join him for coffee. We took a brief afternoon break together, got coffee, and chatted. We talked about world events, the military, schools, etc. I then asked him what he was doing for the weekend. He said he was taking his girlfriend and her daughter to the zoo. We chatted a few more minutes and I told him the next cup of coffee was on me. We parted.

That was over a week ago and I have seen him at least four times since then in the hallways and now he refuses to even speak to me. I thought we parted on good terms but he won't even part his lips to say hello. What is his problem and why do men do this stupid stuff????

GARLAND: When I heard this question, something deep down told me that I was not being told everything. I prodded this person several times to make sure she told me everything she could remember being said. Then she added this:

"Well, he asked me what my weekend plans were and I told him that I was trying to decide who I was going to dinner with on Saturday night since I had accidentally accepted two offers."

GARLAND: Now we have all the facts! It sounds like you've stumbled across the often seen North American Jack-Ass!

I think what happened is this: HE asked YOU out for coffee. Then he tells you that he has a girlfriend. To a normal person, this might mean "Hey, this is an innocent cup of coffee. I've seen you around and just wanted to say 'hello' - but I'm not interested in anything more because I have a girlfriend." But, because he's pulling the old silent treatment, this coffee meant a lot more! I'm willing to bet that YOU blew it with him when you mentioned that you had 2 dates lined up for Saturday.

In his eyes, YOU are a loose woman. Shame on you!!!

You were probably supposed to be falling all over yourself because this guy asked you out for coffee. What a big spender. I bet he was pretty handsome wasn't he? Sounds like a guy that is used to women making a big thing over his attention. He made it a point to tell you that "I'LL BE WITH MY GIRLFRIEND..." So that way, you know up front that to him, you are clearly number 2 or 3 or lower. However, you blew it when you told him the same thing! YOU have 2 dates on Saturday! Clearly he couldn't handle being outdone by someone smoother than himself. Yeah - this is a real Jack Ass you're dealing with.

CHUCK: Hello, young lady, you have just experienced Who Could Care Less, one of the most popular games for couples. And you have lost... or maybe you've won. Anyway, thanks for playing.

The rules are this: A man and a woman meet. There is some attraction, but the man and woman both have to act like they're not "pressed." So they try to top each other with displays of apathy. But the unwritten rule of this game is, the man should always win. Because women outnumber men and a good, professional man is hard to find and blahblahblah. So when he mentioned his girlfriend, you were just supposed to fold and talk about your nights at home alone with your cat and your Gilmore Girls DVDs. But instead, you talk about having 2 possible dates! Dammit, women aren't supposed to have choices!

You beat him at the game. You will obviously be unwilling to beg and scrape for the crumbs he would be willing to give you in a relationship. So, darn it, he's just gonna act like you don't exist. But do you really want some self-centered chump ringing your phone for booty calls when his girlfriend's out of town?

I know it feels funny to be ignored by this guy, especially since you didn't know you were playing Who Could Care Less, anyway. But, you know what? Just ignore him harder.


Anonymous said...

You two are awesome! First, I want to say I love this blog. I just recently found it and have been looking back thru your old posts -- you're both funny and give great advice. But I also wanted to respond to this post in particular because I had something very similar happen to me a while back and I never could figure out why until NOW! Thanks for explaining it!

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