QUESTION: A gentleman I have sat and talked to frequently over the years at a deli I frequent once said to me if I wanted real authentic Mexican food, he would take me to his favorite Mexican restaurant. That was a month ago. Since then, I have run into him about four times and each time he has mentioned that he just had lunch at that favorite Mexican restaurant. Doesn't he realize that I remember that he told me he would take me there? What gives? Is the man senile?
GARLAND: Good question, and I'm sorry it took so long to get it answered.
I'd have to say that he's not senile. I'd call him more of a... Chatty Charlie.
I think people like him probably like to talk. I bet he's one of those people that has done EVERYTHING you say that you've done; he's been EVERYWHERE that you say you've been; he's eaten ALL of the foods that you say you want to eat. HE HAS DONE [or will do] IT ALL, if you listen to him.
I'm rather doubtful that he was ever really going to take you out to dinner or lunch at this Mexican spot. Nothing personal against YOU, it's just that he has to probably be a part of everything that goes on in the diner you frequent. I'm willing to bet that he offers to take everyone in there at least once in a while - to lunch at this place, or dinner at that place, or to his sister's place for the best ribs in town, or to his little secret spot for the freshest vegetables around.
So no, he's not senile. Just a chatter box.
CHUCK: Garland's right. This dude is essentially all about the talk, none about action. I've seen plenty of guys like this. He floats around going about his business, and he has about 8 to 12 female acquaintances that he talks to like this. "Yeah, sweetheart," he'll say. "Let's have lunch at that new Thai place soon." Or, "Tell you what, when that new Tyler Perry flick comes out, let's go see it." Or, "When it gets warm, I'll take you for ride on my Suzuki." He'll tell his guy friends stuff like, "I'll bring you that bootleg of Smokin' Aces Monday, yo." Or, "I saw these topless pictues of Beyonce on the internet last night. Yeah, I'll get you the web address."
But if ever he's called on any of these offers, he either acts forgetful, or falls into some stalling mumbles. Because this dude is what I like to call a Big-Mouthed Show-Off (BMSO).
Now, in all fairness to the BMSO, he spreads so much of this talk around, he can't possibly be expected to remember all of it. He could be seen as really over-committed, if he really intended to follow through on anything. He was just telling you what he thought he wanted you to hear.
He'll probably continue to wave that Mexican food carrot in front of your nose, too. Here's some advice: Try not to care. Devote your time and energy to guys that are genuine and pay no heed to the BMSOs.