The Fork in the Road...


I found your blog while watching the film “Something New”

Well let me get into it. I am a confused 23 year old, bi, lesbian, straight, I don’t really know. I have been with a female for 5 years and we recently broke up. I have been a lesbian for almost 8 years. I am currently looking to be with males again but I have these dilemmas that raise their ugly faces when I think of males:

1. Being in the life (Lesbian) I have found that there are more gay men in the world than they are straight and to me 98% are on the down-low.

2. Will I be their sex-buddy, lover, or etc., nothing to them but sex.

3. Married, Married, Married, Kids, Kids, Kids.

4. Want you to play the role of Ms. House Wife.

5. I am very, very, very fertile. I don’t want children “right now (?)”

6. They do no please me in bed. I get bored easily when it comes to being with males: sexually.

I have never been in a serious relationship with a male before and I want “Something New”, one thing that I have learn while being in the life is to be open, to be open to life itself, try new things with new people no matter what color they are.

GARLAND: Thanks for your E-Mail! I'm not sure if I'm missing your question but I'm going to assume you hit 'send' before you finished.

Let me start at the part with 98% of the men being gay. WOW! Uh, that's an interesting perspective. I'm sure you're being light-hearted with your estimate, but with some of the brothers I see in my travels, I've started to feel that a lot of guys are just hanging up any efforts on being heterosexual. Okay, okay - let me give you my thoughts on your situation.

I think you should really focus on who you are and what you really want - you sexuality aside. Now, we're ALL sexual beings, I'm not trying to act brand-new like sexual feeling are things that can be cut off and on - but you're 23 and you've just come out of a five year relationship. You've been with women for over a third of your life and now you're at the crossroads. Now, when it comes to your overall happiness, I think once you really stare in the mirror for awhile and think about what you want over the next five or ten years - any sexual dilemma will work itself out.

What I mean is this: If you are looking for a solid companion, then lay out the specific criteria that define this companion; If what will make you happy is a mind-blowing lover, figure out what will 'get you there'; If you want a friend to travel or try new things with, then lay out the criteria for that and see who fills that void. But don't write a big sexual [preference] label across yourself and play by the rules you think that label carries.

Because I didn't have a clear question here, I had to wing it. I hope I made sense.

Best wishes---

CHUCK'S ANSWER may follow in a few days.

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