QUESTION: I went out recently with a man I met in the grocery store. He picked me up at my place and we went to dinner for our first date. During the meal, he gave me a small gift box with a silver watch inside of it. He said it was a gift because I was very special. Something didn't feel right about it but I took it anyway. A few days later, my sister looked the watch up online and found that it cost $190. I tried to give it back to him but he refused to take it and insisted that we continue dating. What's up? Am I missing something here or am I just trippin?
CHUCK: An expensive gift too soon in a relationship should open up questions to any woman who isn't getting songs written about her by Kanye West. Questions like: Does he do this with every woman he dates? Will the gifts continue? Does he think this is gonna get him laid?
Good questions, but I don't know if they should be asked directly. He could be feeling really good about meeting you, and just wanted to express it to you. To place too much emphasis on the gift could offend him, and you might end up alienating him for nothing.
What I do suggest is keeping your eyes open. You don't know the Watchman yet, and until you trust him completely, be on the lookout for obvious game. I'm not saying be needlessly suspicious or untrusting. One of my least favorite Presidents, Ronald Reagan said it best, though: Trust, but verify.
GARLAND: I think a gift like that on the first date should be a warning sign. A guy that drops something like a $200 watch on a total stranger is a guy that's hiding something.
What seems shady to me is the fact that he doesn't really know you. You could be a psycho that drowns kittens on the weekends and he's telling you on the first date that you are so special. A normal guy with no tricks up his sleeves would probably give you some token of affection on the first date, flowers, a box of chocolates, a card [or something] but he'd maybe take some time to get to know you before dropping jewelry in your lap.
Unless this guy is so financially well off that he can just afford to give $200 gifts to total strangers, you need to look deep before you leap. Judge Mablean Ephriam [Original Divorce Court] always says that too, and it's usually to someone that ignored warning signs.
No, you're not trippin. This guy is probably hoping that you'll be so starry eyed over his gifts that you won't see his other girlfriend, or wife or 4 kids. I'm smelling a fake rat but that's just me. Don't dump him though, I could be wrong - just move slowly, keep your eyes open, keep your ears open and lookout for more foolishness. Don't be tricked by toys and trinkets.
1 comment:
I agree....once went out with a man like that. Turned out he was actually looking for a companion for the duration of his contract in Trinidad....we met three times, and each time it was perfume, jewelry...etc. And honey he was right on the ball....he knew my favorite perfume, he bought jewelry that exactly matched the peices I already owned. His observancy level was almost creepy.... after the invitation to go Scuba Diving in Mexico I bailed. I wanted a serious relationship, not a contracted companion for two years...keep your eyes open, be sure about what you want.
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