All dogs go to heaven?

QUESTION: I went to dinner with my cousin and three girlfriends last night and of course we ended up talking about men. My cousin had one of your business cards with this website on it. We thought this whole thing of yours was a cute idea and we wanted to put you to the test. Answer this: Why are so many men dogs and con artists?

GARLAND: Please thank your cousin for even showing our business cards to you all!!!

Ahhh, the age old question - WHY ARE MEN DOGS?

And this is supposed to be a test question? Okay - well, as far as men being dogs goes, men will only do what you all let us do. Now, let me put my disclaimer up front: "Some men are absolutely perfect when it comes to cheating and being underhanded in a relationship. These men don't make mistakes, they manage their time well, they cover all their bases. These men are an anomaly in the realm of men being dogs."

Now that that is out of the way for now. I say that most men will only get away with what you ladies let us get away with. I can't count the number of times that I have seen women allow the men they meet to only give them their cell phone number, or their mother's home number, or allow them to give a nickname like "Pookie" or "Dey Dey" or instead of giving a real address, these guys say, "Oh I live down on Bingham off of Chelsea..." When men are allowed to give this kind of obscure personal information and women still date these men or sleep with these men - the men can't legitimately be called dogs. Can they?

If you pet a snake and he bites you, then he can't be called mean can he? After all, snakes bite people and you could see that he was a snake, so you basically should have known what you where in for. The same holds true for guys that dog women out. Many times the warning signs are plain as day, but so many women turn the other cheek or flat out deny that just because she hasn't been to Pookie's house for six months and she can only reach him on his pager, everything is fine. If more women critically looked at the men in their lives, the so called dogs would be pretty easy to spot and easy to get rid of before they do any harm.

Then you come back to the anomaly I mentioned above. These guys are a work of art. Cruel, mean spirited, art. These guys aren't dogs. Frankly, I grew up with dogs - German Shepherds mostly - fine, strong, beautiful, intelligent animals. To call these men dogs is to truly take away from the canine species. These men that skillfully and deftly abuse the trust of their women, are nothing more than bottom feeding scum. I don't know what to tell you about them. But if you're dating a guy or married to one, make sure his act is together. NO! don't go rummaging through his wallet or his E-Mails, but just make sure his actions and his words make sense. Trust your instincts and don't fall into that arrogant and narrow minded thought pattern of "Oh, that could never happen to me." Because that's when it will!

Please make sure you E-mail us our grade! : )

CHUCK: Thanks for checking in to the website and hitting us up with a question. I guess Garland is right. It pays to advertise.

As for your question: Men cheat and lie for very simple reasons. The same reason that cute girl thought she could stick up a bank and talk on her cell phone at the same time. The same reasons that the Enron execs cheated their stockholders and employees. The same reason that George Bush thought... Wait. Sorry. That's for my other blog.

Some people believe that they are superior to other people, and the rules we should live by don't apply to them. Further, they feel as though they are entitled to exploit people that they feel are weaker, less intelligent, and more trusting than them. So, these guys take advantage of women's trust, and, let's be frank, their gullibility, and run roughshod through their money, their sex lives, their feelings.

That's Why. Now here's one for free: How. As in, how do you avoid getting taken by these guys. And it's an answer most of you already know. As Garland says above, you women need to trust your instincts. If you date a guy for, say, six months, and he never let's you visit him at home, either he lives with his parents, or in a more complicated circumstance. If your contact with him is booty calls exclusively, and he avoids being seen in public with you, he may be trying not to get caught by his other women. If he's always hitting you up for money, he might be a deadbeat bum.

I'm not suggesting that women necessarily need to be less trusting. Lord knows we have enough of that already. But when there is some suspect information out there, and you hear a little voice in your head telling you something's not right, don't block that voice out out of hand.

Hope you got something out of our answers. If you did, tell a friend. We're here for you.