Nothin' But a Good Time?

QUESTION: I went on a date with my friends brother. I did ask her before what she felt about it and she said it would be a good idea. So her brother and i talked a couple times prior to the date. Even on our date we always had some interesting conversation. The next day she asked if we connected and i told her that i think we did but wasn't sure about him but he had invited me to their mothers surprise birthday party. She didnt seem phased by it and thought i should go. Later she made the comment "well if your looking for a fun time then he is your guy, but nothing serious. He is pretty good at not doing that." That night he calls me to make plans for that evening. So my question is.. is he interested in me or am i just another exciting thing? Should i listen to my friend on his reputation? And lastly, why would he be so comfortable with me meeting his whole family just after the first date?!

GARLAND: Thanks for your question.

I think you need to let his actions speak for themselves. Give a slight bit of consideration to what your friend said, but let the large part of your decision toward her brother rest on what your eyes and ears pickup from him. Meeting the family IS a fairly big deal with some guys, not ALL GUYS, but some. On top of all of that – your friend might be getting a little uncomfortable with you making in-roads into too many parts of her life. Your friendship may have been cool at the office, or at the weekly hot-yoga class, or at night school, but when you start popping up at Mom’s birthday, or GrandMa’s cookout, or cousin Cheryl’s wedding, you may be getting too deep into her life. Keep your eyes and ears open to both of them and I think you’ll find out all that you need to know.

Good luck-

CHUCK: You are getting some mixed signals that are a cause for concern. But they are coming from your friend, not his brother. First, she tells you that it would be a good idea if the two of you should go out on a date. Then, when you tell her that he has, with little dating history together, invited you to their mother's surprise birthday party, she basically tells you that he is only good for a "good time." That may be true , but, as you describe it, those are some pretty dismissive remarks. So does she think that her brother is worth seeing or not?

As for one of your questions, some guys consider the event that they are inviting a young lady to, some don't, and some try to get what they want out of it. I agree with Garland 100%.My brother used to bring all kinds girls to all kinds of family events, confusing them, and my mother as to how relevent they were to his life. I needed to know a young lady pretty well to attempt that. Some guys just think they'll get more play if they let a young lady think they're important enough to meet Mom.

How do you know which kind of man this guy is? Well, you've got a prime source of information right at your disposal: his sister. If you want to continue seeing him and find out what there is to find out on your own, feel free. Or you could engage her in a more serious conversation, and find out if her brother is a keeper, or just for a good time. Then make your own decision.